August, 22
Dear Diary,
I have decided to join the cheerleading squad. When I made the team, they only had 5 girls on the squad. My coach told me that I was the best cheerleader out there when I started to cry because I didn’t make the team. I think she got my name mixed up with someone else’s. Tim sounds a lot like Becky, so I would just assume that she got my name and the head cheerleader’s name flip-flopped. I am really looking forward to showing everyone my skills. Although I’ve never cheered before, I think I have just about all of the skills down pat. After all, we have had 2 practices so far. My coach said “Tim, you’re going to stand in the back of the formation,” but that’s probably just because they want to be able to see my face really well. I am the tallest one on the squad which leads me to believe that when we start building, I’ll be the flyer. Everyone knows that the tallest member of the squad flies. It makes the build so much taller having the flyer be tall, than having tall bases and a short flyer. I know that when they see how good I am at being a flyer, they will kick all of the other flyers to the curb when it comes to flying. I also have the loudest and lowest voice. My coach says that deep voices carry easier than high pitched voices, so I use my extra-deep voice. When I use my deep voice, everyone looks at me. I like that. My coach is worried about finding a uniform to fit, but she obviously doesn’t know that I w ear skirts every weekend. I think I will tell her that I am fine with wearing the skirt and tank top that the other girls wear. I think that will take a lot of stress off of her shoulders. Anyone who sees me in a skirt on the weekends will likely appreciate that I am able to rock the cheerleading uniform. There is no way to even look bad in those skirts. The only problem with wearing one of those uniforms is that I need a size extra small, and I think they’re all being used by the small flyers… EW! The extra small uniforms should be reserved for me because the flyers look fat in them. If you can’t see your abs through the uniform, it’s too big. I honestly cannot wait until homecoming and courtwarming. Dancing is absolutely my passion in life. I used to dance. I was dancing for 6 months before I quit. They kept telling me I was doing things wrong, but I think that they were just scared at how well I was doing and they wanted me gone so they wouldn’t have any competition. In my opinion, there wasn’t even any competition. I was very obviously better than the rest of the dancers. Yes, they got solos at the recitals, but again, I didn’t get any solos due to jealously. Anyway, once we start the dance for homecoming and courtwarming, I think they’re going to let me make the routine because none of the other girls have any idea what-so-ever what they are doing. None of them know how to move their hips, but I do because I used to be in dance class, and I can show them how. Overall, I am so excited to cheer and dance and build with them. Teaching them all of my skills will be super duper fun.
Until Tomorrow,
Tim John Smith
amirrasatireandhumor 